RAmys LoveMyPurses: An Unique Mom Overcoming the Hurdles of Disability Anxiety By Amy Yost

Amy Yost wearing one of her amazing purses. Amy has short blonde hair, wearing a green shirt. The large blue purse hangs across her body. It has colorful word bubbles with words like pow and zap. She is standing in front of a powers machine.

My name is Amy Yost. I’m 43 and have 2 children. I have struggled all my life with chronic pain, anxiety, mathematics anxiety, and big crowds anxiety. So I grew up learning to mind control my pain.

I haven’t been able to hold a regular job due to my chronic leg pain and anxiety. In 2000 my mom taught me how to sew by hand. I was never allowed to touch her sewing machine though ❤️. However when she passed away in 2005, I inherited all her crafting supplies.

In 2016, I bought my first sewing machine. I wanted to make a purse to fit my cellphone. I couldn’t find what I was looking for. So why not make one?

So I YouTubed the brand of my machine and watched a video on how to use all the features. Then I watched a video on how to make a purse. Well… I was not great at math at all, and the instructions to put it together were confusing to me. So I looked around my house for something square to trace around as a pattern. Ah ha.. cereal box!

So that’s how it began . I had all my mom’s supplies and she had a rubber stamp collection. One of the stamps fell out of a box with some fabric . That stamp is now use in all my purses.

The best journeys are not always in straight lines.

Ain’t that the truth. So when you look inside one of my RAmys LoveMyPurses, it’s stamped and signed by me .

So I ended up making that purse, then in 2016 I had my son. So I took a break on crafting. I started painting on canvas. That was different because of having to stand to paint and because it was messy. In 2019 I needed a new purse and got out my machine and made myself one and posted it on Facebook. I had lots of people wanting one so I made more purses.

These purses feature multiple colors, and each contains multiple pockets.

it’s a struggle muffin when you have Chronic leg pain, with all the sitting and pushing the peddle foot to run the machine. But I push through it because I want to make purses.

From 2019 to present I have gotten so many good compliments on my purses. They are organized with awesome pockets. I try to make a pocket to fit your cellphone and a place to hang your keys. I make them crossbody/shoulder. Some are big enough to fit a book, a small tablet and other items. My purses usually have 6 to 9 pockets.

I uses snaps and Velcro to make them unique. I don’t really make any two alike. However much fabric I have, I will eyeball the size and cut it out free hand as I go.

I don’t sew straight, but that’s part of the journey I’m on. My purses are cute and really a statement piece to your everyday. I use holiday fabrics or really any kind of cotton fabric to make them.

I also have done a few custom purses. I cut a lady’s dress up and made her a purse. I tie-dye muslin fabric.

I am currently getting help with Vocational rehabilitation, I also sell purses and Tie dye T shirts at the common market on 8th Street in Muncie, IN.

My boyfriend came up with my business name. RAmys is for my 2 children, who have R names, and the Amy is my name. The phrase “love my purses” comes from my daughter when she had a handful of purses I made and said, “love my purses, mommy. “ So we call them RAmy (Ray-mes) Love My Purses.

I found a sewing machine that sews itself. I just push a button and guide it. My legs still hurt and fall asleep. I haven’t set up anyplace like flea market because I have anxiety with money and covid. So that has slowed by business down. I usually sale my purses through word of mouth. I have used Facebook marketplace . I have shipped to Michigan, Tennessee, Arizona, and in Indiana.

If you would like to purchase one of these amazing purses, go to’RAmysLoveMyPurses on Instagram or find Amy Yost on Facebook.

Website: ramyslovemypurses.com (still under construction)
Email: Amy@ramyslovemypurses.com

Business card for RA LoveMyPurses

Expressing Through Tattoos

Hello my Name is Alejandro Nuñez (Alex)

 

I work at the Courtyard By Marriott in downtown Muncie, and I’m a Volunteer Firefighter

 

I want to share my tattoos with everyone and tell you what they mean to me.

The first tattoo is a firefighter tattoo. The tattoo is a fire shield with an American flag. It’s outlined with a thin red line.

 

The next tattoo is another firefighter tattoo. This tattoo is what I call my 9/11 tattoo because every year I go to a firefighter conference in Indy, and i take part in a 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb at Lucas Oil Stadium. I climb 110 stories/2,200 step, which is the same number of steps and stories that the firefighters had climbed on that day. The tattoo displays a firefighter praying on one knee with an axe and a helmet. The American flag is behind him. The number 343, which is on the helmet, is how many firefighters died in the trade center on 9/11.

My next tattoo is my cerebral palsy tattoo, which is a green ribbon with wings and the word hope underneath the ribbon. I have cerebral palsy.  I’m unable to use my right hand,  and i wear an AFO on my right leg. I decided to get the word hope because hopefully someday there will be a cure for cerebral palsy.

My next 3 tattoos are on my left arm:  

 

The first one is of a roman numeral, which represents my sister’s birthday- 09-07-92. This was my very first tattoo. My sister and I are close so we decided to get our birthdays tattooed on each other. She got my birthday (10-28-95) tattooed on her arm as well.

 The second one is a heart with headphones around it with a heartbeat rhythm in the middle, I got this one because I listen to music wherever i go.  It keeps me calm when I feel like I’m getting frustrated about things.

 

The third one is my semicolon tattoo. I got this one because i deal with depression and suicidal thoughts. I decided to get this one to remind myself that everything is going be okay. The text i got with it is “when we suffer we find the will to live.”

The next tattoo is a  diamond shape tattoo with is one half is in the day time and the other half is in the night time. I got this one because sometimes I’m up all night, and sometimes I’m up all day.   .

The next tattoo is my Johnny Cash tattoo. I got this one because I’m a Johnny cash fan. The tattoo is his face, and in the middle is him with his guitar walking down the road.

The next tatto is also musical. This one has the play, paused, stop and replay  Buttons like on an Ipod or Mp3 player. Play the moments. Paused the memories. Stop the pain. Replay the happiness.

 

The last tattoo is another music tattoo. The tattoo says “Words fail, Music speaks.”. I got this one because sometimes we listen to songs that just know how we feel.

 

That’s all of my tattoos. Thank you for letting me share with you the meaning of my tattoos.

This is a picture of Alex. He’s wearing a tan and yellow firefighter suit with black gloves. He has short dark hair and a confident expression on his face. Alex is standing next to a fire truck.

Danea is a Survivor

Creating art to heal.

Danea Addison Swirl
Danea Addison Swirl 2
Danea Addison Swirl 4
Danea Addison Swirl 3
Danea Addison Line

More art by survivors and allies

Dark Night of the Soul

The words below are the written words of Stephanie Winn’s poe “Dark Night of the Soul”. The video has her spoken words.

*Please Note: IDJ does not align with any one religion, faith, or belief system. Instead, we offer a platform where people with disabilities can express their diverse experiences.

Dark Night of the Soul

1 decade. It’s been 1 decade since my body turned on me, taking freedom and sanity in 1 fell swoop. Initiating a loop of nausea, dizziness, and headaches that takes my life and makes it something I do not recognize. The cries that emit from my soul are ragged and raw. I crawl to the bathroom, room spinning around, the ground no longer something I can trust. And all I know is I must find answers and a cure, but 10 year in I am no longer sure that they exist.

 

I am told to resist the dark hole that comes in these moments. Emotions take me to my end. But I do not descend. I wait for the recovering, the days of relief that make the suffering fade and my eyes are again able to see the beauty that is my life. When I’ve been stuck in bed and am now able to rise, the lies of sickness become instantly clear. My fear of lost relationships slips under the sea of love and support my friends and family always show me. I know the guilt of missing out is pointless as these memories are eclipsed by the constancy of my love. And my love is deep. 

 

One of the gifts reaped from the pain is a gratefulness that seeps into my very being for all of the daily scenes. Like the sound of my daughter’s laughs, the warmth of a full bubble bath, my husband’s kiss on my lips, and the delicious salt of my favorite chips. These moments are not lost on me. 

 

But, I am greedy. I want only the good all the time. This needy body of mine makes me sick as I tick off another day spent in the grip of chronic illness. So, I turn to my Maker, my Father, Creator. 

 

The same hands that hold me, molded me. Did they make a mistake or are they unable to take this away? I pray and I beg. I negotiate. Offer up 1 fate in exchange for another. Let’s make a deal. If you heal me, I’ll serve you forever. Never ask for anything more. 

 

But, deep in my core I know, the answer may be no or not yet. And if so, can I let go and even rejoice as I listen for His still, soft voice?

 

Oh daughter, this was not my plan, not the work of my hands. I hear your cries and I touch your soul. The miracle just looks different than you thought. I have fought for you each and every day in the spiritual battle you do not see. The sea is not deep enough to hold my love for you. I cover you with my wing and sing over you with rejoicing. I see your pain and I do not turn away. I stay and I will fill your cup. I will hold you up until this world passes into the next and you rest in me. 

 

Until then, it is enough that He who calmed the sea, resides in me. Bringing peace in the storm and light in the darkest night of my soul.

About the Author:

Stephanie Winn attended Ball State University and graduated with a Master’s degree in Speech language pathology. She has worked as a speech therapist for the last 10 years in nursing homes, home care, and the school setting. She is currently on medical leave due to her struggle with vestibular migraines and hashimoto’s thyroiditis. She is actively involved in Urban Light Community Church in Muncie, Indiana. Stephanie is happily married to Seth and they have 2 daughters, Zayla (age 10) and Aria (age 8). Stephanie enjoys spending time with her friends and family, reading, and going for walks.

In this picture, Stephanie Winn has long brownish blonde hair, wearing a light blue, button-up, long sleeved shirt.