Sadness vs Numbness

Give me sadness
With its grey skies
My heart ripped into two


Let me sob
Let listen to gut wrenching songs
Let me write dark and dreary poetry
Let me share my woes to all
About the unfairness and hurt
That my senses perceive whenever I breathe


Yes, give me this sadness, that has a clear cause
This sadness that I hate: Give me that: For my own sake


Sadness is natural; a part of human life
Barely on the spectrum
When I compare it to Numbness.


Grey skies vs blackness nothing
Heart in two vs non-feeling beats


An inorganic place called the Abyss
Where Numbness holds myself
Not song, word, or voice allowed
Not even the grace of sadness can present itself


Just me and Numbness
And empty thoughts of blankness
No one in; no one out
Unbearable Disconnection


The world’s simple notion of depression as sad sadness
Gives no justice to the Numbness of the Abyss
So, please, may I have sadness?

Jody has short black hair with her left side shaven. Her glasses are reddish, her sweather is dark purple, her earrings are black, and her grin is huge.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jody Michele Powers

Jody Powers is an independent consultant for the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence, where she serves on the leadership. committee of Indiana Disability Justice and is the Hub Coordinator of the IDJ website. Jody is also a licensed Christian minister, whose faith motivates her to promote the human dignity of all people. Jody has cerebral palsy with visual and speech impairments. She uses a power chair for mobility. She deals with clinical depression and PTSD, unseen disabilities that affect her life as much as her seen disabilities.

Email:  jodymichele@outlook.com

Disabled and Proud

When I roll through a door With my son in my lap,

I don’t deserve your praise, so please don’t clap.

The looks of pity and horror Hurt too, you see

Because be it your praise or fear Be it a cheer or a leer,

One thing is always clear,

You’re singling me out for my disability, And living life is no inspiration.

Do my words give you clarity? Clarity not needed by my son.

 

I live life from a wheelchair That gives full independence. I know you see it or hear it,

And of my chair you’re fully aware So can you just give full acceptance

To me in my chair?

Because I promise my son can see and feel The fear behind your stare.

 

I’m not so different from you.

I get happy.

I get frustrated.

I get sappy.

I get infantilized.

I get mad.

I feel all the feels Tell me how living on wheels Makes me different from you?

Being a momma on wheels Is nothing strange,

And I promise my son doesn’t wish me to change.

 

 

For 29 months I nursed my son On wheels.

I chase my son On wheels.

I discipline my son On wheels.

I cook for my husband and son On wheels.

I change my son On wheels.

I say prayers for and with my son On wheels.

 

 

You see the wheels I live on aren’t all-defining Suffocating or confining.

They are a disabled mom’s All access pass

To her toddler’s world,

A world full of peace and calm

And also a world full of giggles and sass.

 

 

My name is Megan. I am disabled, I am Lebanese,

I have Cerebral Palsy, I am legally blind,

I am from the U.S.A., I am a wife,

I am a mother, I am a writer,

And of ALL that makes me ME

I am PROUD!

About this poem: I wrote this poem after my husband and I had to have our first conversation with our two-year-old son about ableism. He asked, “Why people so mean ‘cause momma sit? Momma tell them mean.” After our family conversation, I wrote this in response to my son’s question. I hope this little poem helps people to realize that societal ableism is still taught and fostered today. Many people may be unaware that they are fostering ableism, but the hard, sad truth is that they are. My husband was internally ableist for a long period of time not because ableist thoughts were purposefully passed down and placed on his shoulders, but because family unknowingly continue ableism’s terrible legacy.

This is a picture of Megan Deahl, her husband, and son.

Abput the Author:

Hi! My name is Megan Deahl! I am a wife, momma, writer, disability advocate, animal lover, and avid crafter. Do you have questions about ableism? Please feel free to email me at deahldisabilityactivism@gmail.com. We can only eradicate ableism through education.