Ableism and Parenting

About the author:

Hi! My name is Megan Deahl! I am a wife, momma, writer, disability advocate, animal lover, and avid crafter. Do you have questions about ableism? Please feel free to email me at deahldisabilityactivism@gmail.com. We can only eradicate ableism through education.

This is a photo of Megan and her family. Megan is in a power chair and’is leaning into Nate, her husband who is in his power chair. Alister, their son is sitting on Nate’s shoulders. Megan is wearing an organge dress. Nate and Alister are wearing red flanel skirts and jeans. All of them have big smiles. They are outside in front f colorful trees.

Disabled and Proud

When I roll through a door With my son in my lap,

I don’t deserve your praise, so please don’t clap.

The looks of pity and horror Hurt too, you see

Because be it your praise or fear Be it a cheer or a leer,

One thing is always clear,

You’re singling me out for my disability, And living life is no inspiration.

Do my words give you clarity? Clarity not needed by my son.

 

I live life from a wheelchair That gives full independence. I know you see it or hear it,

And of my chair you’re fully aware So can you just give full acceptance

To me in my chair?

Because I promise my son can see and feel The fear behind your stare.

 

I’m not so different from you.

I get happy.

I get frustrated.

I get sappy.

I get infantilized.

I get mad.

I feel all the feels Tell me how living on wheels Makes me different from you?

Being a momma on wheels Is nothing strange,

And I promise my son doesn’t wish me to change.

 

 

For 29 months I nursed my son On wheels.

I chase my son On wheels.

I discipline my son On wheels.

I cook for my husband and son On wheels.

I change my son On wheels.

I say prayers for and with my son On wheels.

 

 

You see the wheels I live on aren’t all-defining Suffocating or confining.

They are a disabled mom’s All access pass

To her toddler’s world,

A world full of peace and calm

And also a world full of giggles and sass.

 

 

My name is Megan. I am disabled, I am Lebanese,

I have Cerebral Palsy, I am legally blind,

I am from the U.S.A., I am a wife,

I am a mother, I am a writer,

And of ALL that makes me ME

I am PROUD!

About this poem: I wrote this poem after my husband and I had to have our first conversation with our two-year-old son about ableism. He asked, “Why people so mean ‘cause momma sit? Momma tell them mean.” After our family conversation, I wrote this in response to my son’s question. I hope this little poem helps people to realize that societal ableism is still taught and fostered today. Many people may be unaware that they are fostering ableism, but the hard, sad truth is that they are. My husband was internally ableist for a long period of time not because ableist thoughts were purposefully passed down and placed on his shoulders, but because family unknowingly continue ableism’s terrible legacy.

This is a picture of Megan Deahl, her husband, and son.

Abput the Author:

Hi! My name is Megan Deahl! I am a wife, momma, writer, disability advocate, animal lover, and avid crafter. Do you have questions about ableism? Please feel free to email me at deahldisabilityactivism@gmail.com. We can only eradicate ableism through education.

All That Is Mine Is Yours

I am sharing this project with all of you because I want to show the beauty of parenting with a disability and the beauty of being a child with a disability. I want to show the joy that my unique family shares. This project will probably continue as my son grows. I hope to share with him the same kind of amazing experiences I was given. I also hope to give him some that are all his own.

We adopted our son three years ago from the other side of the world. I found my son when searching the Internet. I read about a little boy who was so sweet and kind and had the cutest smile. As I read further, I found out that he had the same disability as me, spinal muscular atrophy. It felt like the stars were aligning. I had found our child.I am sharing this project with all of you because I want to show the beauty of parenting with a disability and the beauty of being a child with a disability.

We brought him home after a year-long process. When my husband brought him home from a 12-hour flight and I got him in my arms at the airport, I never let him go. I still watch with wonder as he grows into an amazing young man. I try to shield him from the hurts of life as best I can and at least let him know that I’ve been there before.

I started this project when I was going through photographs from my childhood. I noticed that there were a lot of photos of me growing up that matched photos we now have of my son. I wanted to show the journey we are both taking side-by-side. I wanted to show him that the love in our family is full-circle, and circles never stop.

Please tap/click on the pictures to’enlarge and view them.

In this picture of Katrina, she’s in her power chair, wearing brownish glasses, a white long sleeved top, blue jeans, and high black boots. She has white skin,
blue and purple curly hair. She’s also smiling.

Katrina Gossett Kelly wears several hats. She is an attorney at Faegre Baker Daniels in Indianapolis, specializing in the complexities of e-discovery and trade secret litigation. She also performs improv at ComedySportz Indianapolis and serves as a disability advocate throughout Indiana. Her favorite job of all, however, is being mom to her nine-year-old son who is also growing into a disability advocate in his own right. Katrina lives in downtown Indy with her son, two dogs, and a cat.