About two years ago, I was struggling with major depressive disorder and my recently diagnosed panic disorder with agoraphobia. It was my senior year, and I could barely drive or go to school without breaking down. During this time, I was also applying for college. I had applied to IU Indianapolis and IU Online. I thought I would have to attend college online, because it was a struggle just to leave my house, but I knew I couldn’t give up on getting higher education.
A few months after being accepted to IU Indianapolis, I found out I had earned a full-ride scholarship via the IUI Honors College. The scholarship required me to live on campus, something that felt completely impossible. Earning such a prestigious scholarship was an amazing feeling, but I also felt like maybe I was taking the spot of someone else who was more capable. After all, I couldn’t even go to the store without having a panic attack.
I applied for accommodations via IUI’s Accessible Education Services, which would help me learn and take tests in a more comfortable environment and have flexibility for mental illness-related absences. These accommodations helped me feel more confident about attending classes and living on campus. However, I knew I would have to do more if I was going to be able to go to college and live on campus
I was able to graduate from high school with technical and academic honors (and a lot of absences during my senior year). After graduation, I started to visit the IU Indianapolis campus with my family to get used to being there in an attempt to appease my panic disorder. The
scholarship I received also required me to move in a week early and go on a retreat with my fellow scholarship recipients. At the time, this retreat was extremely scary, but looking back, being on campus early with fellow honors students helped me get acclimated to campus and
make a few friends. The retreat included traveling around campus and around downtown Indianapolis. I had to force myself to go, but it helped me immensely.
I credit Accessible Education Services, the IU Indianapolis Honors College, and my family for why I was able to attend college despite the struggles I was facing. The support I received helped me feel empowered to achieve my goals, no matter the obstacles along the way. I sincerely hope that other young people facing mental illness or disorders do not give up on their goals, because there are always resources and services that can help them.
I am majoring in psychology and plan to go to graduate school for clinical psychology, because I want to help people who are facing mental illness overcome their struggles and achieve their goals. Diagnoses can sometimes feel like a life sentence, but there are always people there to support and empower you.
About the Author
Image Description: Samantha at the induction ceremony for Phi Eta Sigma and Alpha Lambda Delta honor societies. It is a headshot of a young woman with long, straight black hair and clear-framed glasses, smiling subtly.
Artist Bio: Samantha is an undergraduate student at Indiana University Indianapolis. She is completing her BS in psychology with minors in neuroscience and sociology. She is passionate about helping people impacted by mental illness, addiction, and domestic violence. In the future, she plans to attend graduate school for clinical psychology.