Letters I never sent to you

“Letters I never sent to you” by Cierra Olivia Thomas Williams. 

The series revolves around the artist’s exploration of her experiences with violence and her attempts to communicate those experiences to an important person in her life. The series consists of one piece in transition, creating several artworks, each depicting different emotions and themes related to the artist’s trauma.

The first piece, titled “Gaslighted,” is a pencil and charcoal close-up self-portrait of the artist’s eyes and nose. It represents the moment when she reached out to the person she expected to love and support her, only to be met with disbelief and accusations of fabricating stories.

The second piece, called “Unsent,” features a self-portrait of the artist’s crying face against a black background. The word “LISTEN” floats in the artwork, while ripped-up letters that were never sent to the person are collaged into the piece. The text fragments express the artist’s desperate attempt to convey the truth about her experience with sexual violence and her struggles with its aftermath.

The third piece, titled “Suffer,” shows the transformation of the artist’s face from pain to rage, eventually turning into a black bear. The artwork incorporates Miwok words, representing descriptive terms for various aspects of the environment. The bear symbolizes the artist’s intense emotions and the anger she feels at not being believed.

In the final transformation, depicted in “Bear Eating People,” the artist’s sad self-portrait is consumed by red, yellow, and black shadow fingers. The Miwok term for “bear eating people” replaces the word “listen,” symbolizing the artist’s transition into a vengeful bear that represents her rage and frustration at the lack of belief and support she encountered.

Close up of rage and pain

Gaslighted

Media: Pencil and charcoal close-up self-portrait of my eyes and nose. I called the person who should love me the deepest and told them what happened. They said I was making up stories.

Listen

Unsent

Media: Charcoal, pencil, and collaged words, images, unsent letters, and a recycled 2021 calendar A self-portrait of my face crying. The word LISTEN floats on a black background with my crying face being pulled into the darkness by red and black fingers. The text is made up of words from ripped up letters I never sent her. The pieces of letters say, “This is no lie. It was sexual violence. Crisis. I can’t decide how it makes me as an adult person. Manic again, scary, unthinkable. Not neurotypical skills. And this is what I remember.” There is a winding stairway from my temple and my chin. At the end of the spiral stairs at the bottom of the piece are boats facing away from the pain.

Medium: Charcoal and pencil, photography. Bear Eating People In its final transformation, suffer. My face is overcome with red, yellow, and black shadow fingers-pulling on me. The Miwok word for “bear eating people,” or “Hutcumi,” appears where the word listen once appeared. My sad self-portrait is transforming into a murderous bear to express the rage I feel at not being believed.

Suffer

Media: Charcoal and pencil, photography. The transformation of my face from pain to rage, from human to black bear. Miwok words are filled with descriptive terms for things found in the environment that you might encounter and interact with. For example, you may come across a hairy bear, or a lazy bear. Yosemite is the word for murderous bear.

Bear Eating People

Media: Charcoal and pencil, photography. In its final transformation, suffer. My face is overcome with red, yellow, and black shadow fingers-pulling on me. The Miwok word for “bear eating people,” or “Hutcumi,” appears where the word listen once appeared. My sad self-portrait is transforming into a murderous bear to express the rage I feel at not being believed.

Cierra Olivia Thomas Williams

About the artist

Cierra Olivia Thomas-Williams is a fat and sassy thoyewa (disabled) Miwok cisgender assa (woman) with salt and pepper hair. She is smiling into the camera and is wearing a pink floral shirt in the picture. Cierra is a survivor of poly violence with CPTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and is on the bipolar spectrum. Cierra is a Prevention Specialist at Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence, where she co-founded Indiana Disability Justice.

I Am A Survivor: Luna Eversong-Kloss

The video starts with a woman holding two blank pieces of paper taped together. She has a black tank top, and all that is seen is her torso and arms. As she is crumpling the papers, phrases appear on the screen. They are in a bulleted list here to signify when one phrase ends and the other begins.

  • You’re crazy
  • I don’t think you should hang out with them.
  • Next, the word “wh*r*” appears.
  • I’ll get you back
  • all your threats
  • assault
  • stalking me
  • isolating me
  • hiding my meds
  • no one will ever love you like I do
  • You’re a burden

By this time the papers are in a ball.

Now she is uncrumpling the papers to reveal family photos with the words, “I AM A Survivor,” written in red below the pictures.

 

The pictures are an adult female in a black tank top snuggling a child while writing something, a mom holding a newborn baby, a male child about 4 or 5 held close to a man’s face, and two wedding pictures.

At the end there is a black screen with, “Video Art by Luna Eversong-Kloss.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Luna Eversong-Kloss

Luna Eversong-Kloss is a tattoo model, avocate, write, and mother of two. She also has cerebral palsy.

Luna is standing with her crutches. She has tattoos and a lip piercing. She has long brown hair’with blonde streak. Her head is cocked, and she is smiling broadly. She is wearing a black shirt with skulls and flowers.

Coping with Anxiety and Depression

There are many ways to cope with anxiety and depression. There are many ways to manage them. Courtney Parker shares a story and her artwork.

Roxy- a golden retreiever, sitting in the middle of a living room, looking happy. Her fur is completely golden.

This is my dog Roxy. She is a golden retriever. She was nine years old when she passed away. She was my very best friend before I met Brian, my partner. She wasn’t a trained therapy dog, but she was a big support to me and helped me with my emotions. I have severe anxiety and depression so day to day living can be very stressful sometimes. I love and miss Roxy everyday.

A drawing of two birds. Onve is a red cardinal siting on a branch with green leaves. The other bird is a blue jay sitting on a leafless branch.

Courtney also deals with her anxiety by drawing. She draws everything from imaginary creatures to animals to portraits of loved ones to Biblical imagery. The above picture is of two birds sitting on two brances.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND ARTIST: Courtney Parker has spina bifina. She has a young son. Courtney deeply loves her family and God.

IDJ Questions:

How do you deal with anxiety and depression? Does your organization offer safe spaces and offer time where employees and clients can use the techniques that they need to maintain or increase well-being? Why or why not?