Waiting in the Wings
My 20s were a time of growth and a journey toward becoming the woman I am today. There were many factors that empowered me in this journey, including my own personal drive and ambition, my friends, and my community. But I think the single most influential support I had in my 20s was my parents. Whenever my journey into adulthood got rough, they stepped in to smooth out the bumps. At the same time, they stayed in the background to let me learn to address my own challenges.
I started my 20s by finishing college and heading to law school. This was my first time moving out of state, which felt like a big step. I know that my parents were worried about my venturing even further out on my own, but they never tried to reel me in or stop my march towards independence.
When I moved to Chicago, I had already been managing my own care team since the age of 17, but this felt different. I was on a new campus where I had to find my help outside of the dorms. It was the first time that I hired caregivers who were significantly older than me. I was also in an apartment instead of a dorm for the first time. My parents helped me set up my place and get comfy with my new responsibilities. They even bought me a time clock for my caregivers to punch in to keep track of their hours. When they headed back home, I knew that even though it was a three-hour drive, they were only a phone call away.
I remember one weekend in law school when the power went off in my 4th floor apartment. I was afraid to sleep that night without my BiPap, so my dad spent the night talking to me on the phone, so I could stay awake. The next day they turned on the power long enough for me to go downstairs, and I spent the weekend at home with my parents. On that weekend and countless other times, my parents provided me a sort of safety net that enabled me to take the risks I needed to take, like going out of state and living in an apartment.
They continued to provide me that same support when I finished school, bought my condo, and started working as an attorney. They helped me plan my place to perfectly suit my needs and were always there when emergencies arose like last-minute call-offs and broken wheelchairs. Once, when I had been snowed in from my office for a week, my mom came over and shoveled my entire three-block walk to work — the WHOLE PATH! With support like that, I knew my disability could not hold me back.
Throughout my young adulthood, my parents never tried to convince me to roll back my ambitions or to dream smaller. Instead, they gave me the freedom to push boundaries and defy expectations, all the white standing in the wings in case I stumbled or just needed a little boost. I could not be who I am today without their support and love.
About the Author
Image Description: Katrina is a white woman, smiling in this picture, sporting a pink blouse, black lace cardigan, dark rimmed glasses, and beaded necklaces. Her hair sits just past her shoulder, brown and curly, with bangs sitting at her glasses. She appears to be in a black powerchair, contrasting the white wall background of the photo.
Katrina Kelly
Katrina Kelly practiced as an attorney for 15 years before she retired on disability. She is also a mom and a disability advocate. Katrina was born with spinal muscular atrophy, which requires her to use a power wheelchair and rely on assistance in day-to-day life. Her 13-year-old son has the same condition, so she spends much of her time helping her son and herself to navigate barriers. Katrina is an Indianapolis native, who loves living downtown. She has a chorkie and two sassy orange cats.