By Jessica Minor
I was born with osteogenesis imperfecta (OI), a rare genetic condition that causes my bones to break easily. My parents didn’t know until I was around 9 months old when I broke my collar bone trying to roll over. Starting from a very young age, I was delayed in my gross motor skills, and my parents were originally told I wouldn’t be able to walk. However, I did learn to walk at 3 years old. Growing up and in school, I mostly used a walker and wheelchair to get around but remained as independent as I could.
As I got older, my parents instilled the importance of advocacy and building a community. Throughout all my grade school years I had several close friends that I could always count on. My parents mirrored the importance of building a community with so many friends that were practically family. The people I could also count on when I needed them.
When I went to college, my disability became a little bit more front and center. I went to school in Cincinnati, possibly the hilliest place in the Midwest I could have chosen. I only knew a couple of people and so it took me some time to find my people – who were willing to help me on occasion (especially up those hills) and reteach individuals about who I am, beyond the disability. I did though find my community and had people I knew I could count on if something happened.
What nobody tells you is how challenging it is to meet people once you are out of school – disability or no disability.
After undergrad, I decided to move to the Washington, DC area for a job. I packed up my things and moved, knowing nobody. I didn’t realize how scary that would be until after my parents left and it was just me and my new dog that I “accidentally” found at the Humane Society the week prior. Since I knew nobody, I figured the best way to meet people was through dating. I went on a lot of dates and eventually met my now husband, who also happens to have a disability. One of the stark differences we found is the difference in our idea of community. It was not something his family necessarily prioritized, while mine did. But, over the years we have learned to develop our own ideas of what community looks like for each of us and for our family. There is no one way to build a community. We took pieces of what we knew, combining it together to make our version of community beautiful and unique.
Fast forward to a baby, COVID-19, and a move to Indiana later and I cannot believe the community we have built. If you had asked me six months ago if we had found our people in Indiana yet, I maybe would have shrugged it off or said not really, however I have been proven very wrong, for the better. Community might not be there every day, but when it shows up it’s often very surprising.
In January, I had a fall that resulted in my first broken leg since I was in eighth grade. As a type-A planner personality, I panicked as to what we were going to do. Not only for me, but for my husband, who is still learning to drive, and our daughter. Life does not stop when you have an injury as an adult. However, in a state of panic I asked my sister to reach out to everyone I could think of for help. By the time I was out of surgery, our entire “help” spreadsheet was filled, and I had several text messages with people asking how else they could be there. From old and new friends, neighbors, and people I barely knew from our daughter’s daycare, we had everything covered and then some. I could not believe the amount of support people were willing to provide if I just asked.
It is hard to ask for help, especially as a person with a disability, it often feels like a burden. But that is what community is; helping each other. I know one day, someone that has helped me is going to need support and I can guarantee I’ll be right there when they need me. We all have our seasons and life ebbs and flows, but one thing can always remain constant and that is community.
:ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jessica Minor
Jessica Minor was born with osteogenesis imperfecta. She was born and raised in Indiana, but previously resided in Maryland for over eight years until 2021. She lives with her husband, 3-year-old daughter, and 2 dogs. Since moving back to Indiana, she has worked as Director of Community Engagement at accessABILITY, Center for Independent Living. In her role, she oversees all outreach initiatives, fundraising efforts, and disability justice trainings where she works with organizations and companies on how to be more inclusive to the disability community. Jessica is also on the Board of Directors at Meals on Wheels of Central Indiana and is a member of the Interagency Coordinating Council for the First Steps program.
While in Maryland, she received her Master’s Degree in Public Policy and worked in disability and public health policy. She was also on the Board of Directors of Independence NOW, a Center for Independent Living, and Hearts and Homes for Youth.
Jessica loves connecting with the Greater Indianapolis community, building connections, and helping bridge the gap for people living with disabilities.
